In His infinite wisdom and good pleasure, our heavenly Father created me with a short umbilical cord, which He determined would wrap around my neck causing a lack of oxygen just before I was born. To show forth His power and glory, He preserved the lives of a new mother and baby. On that Good Friday morning in the early 1970s, He gave two new parents, an extended family, church family, and broader community of believers the trial and blessing of a special baby with Cerebral Palsy (CP). Every detail of that morning and my entire life our heavenly Father has determined, has used, and will continue to use to shape me for my place in the church, which is the body of Christ.

As I list some of the trials that I have each day, I pray that this may give the reader a glimpse into the struggles God sends me.

My speech is slow and hard to understand. Unless the listeners concentrate on listening to me, they may have to ask me to repeat myself or spell the words I am saying. Walking is difficult due to my weak muscles and poor balance, but it is possible with assistance from a loved one or with the use of a two-wheel walker. I do not have the strength to independently move quickly unless I am driving my power wheelchair. My hands are slow at performing tasks, so I have difficulty working together to sign my name on a birthday card or important document, fasten buttons or zippers, or tie a loose shoelace. At mealtimes, I must rely on my parents, family members, or friends to prepare my food, put it on a dinner plate with a special guard, cut up my food, give me a special “spork” so I can scoop up the food and put it into my mouth. Drinking requires the container to have a straw placed at a safe distance so I can suck the beverage without spilling its contents. My muscle coordination struggles from the moment I awake until the moment God blesses me with peaceful sleep. I must deliberately concentrate as my brain, muscles, and my entire body struggle together each moment of each day.

At various times in my life, God has sent me struggles with anxiety and depression. In His perfect wisdom, God brought me into a dark pit in my early 50s where I despaired and wanted Him to take me home to heaven. My parents, siblings, elders, deacons, pastor, friends, and doctors brought me the Word on their visits, sent me text messages and emails and prescribed medications, but I sank deeper into the pit. God rescued me from the pit through five months of biblical counseling. Due to my condition, my biblical counselor counseled me at my home. I praise God for using biblical counseling to change me from an anxious woman living with CP to a woman living with CP who is leaning on Jesus even more in my daily walk with Him.

Reflecting on this dark time in my life, I see how my gracious, merciful Father in His love for me was taking away my pride. God was making me more aware of my complete dependence upon Him for strength for my body, mind, and soul. His chastening hand showed me the ugliness of my sin of not trusting His wisdom in determining and carrying out every detail of my life according to His counsel. He reminded me how helpless I am by slowly taking away my zeal and strength, so I had more difficulty waking up early in the morning, transferring from my bed to my wheelchair, dressing myself and worshipping Him joyfully at home and in public gatherings. God reduced my ability to work 20 hours a week to 8-10 hours a week from home as a data entry clerk for Vibration Research. In His time, He restored these blessings as He taught me to lean on and trust Him for all things.

As I am blessed with middle age, I am struck by how gracious and longsuffering my heavenly Father has been in His care of me. I am more helpless than many people. My Father knows this because this has been His plan for me from all eternity. I see His pity of me when I look at Him with the eye of faith. Psalm 103:13, 14 reminds me of this: “Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear him. For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust.”

What a blessing to have the gift of parents [Dave and Bonnie] who have been able to show me the love of Christ by using their abilities, time, and energy to provide for my physical, emotional, and spiritual needs for over 50 years. As members of the church, they lovingly brought me to baptism as an infant and used the means God gave them to keep their vows.

What a blessing to grow up as a daughter of the King in the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s as the church and school community where I live were just beginning to learn how to embrace and include members, students, and neighbors who have special needs. From infancy until the present time, I have had the blessing of publicly worshipping God with my family and church family in His house on many Lord’s Days. God has given me the blessing of attending many Sunday School classes, catechism classes, and society meetings. God used the commitment and support of my parents to mainstream me from my special education classroom at the public school to Hope Protestant Reformed Christian School and Covenant Christian High School where I received nine years of Christian education in the same classrooms as my siblings, cousins, and other children from my church. What a blessing to have the strength to take three years of college classes to receive an associates degree.

“Kris, you have a special place in our Hope Church family.” “Kris, we appreciate texts you send us on our birthdays and anniversaries.” “We love to see the smile on your face as we walk past you to our seats each Sunday.” “We appreciate your prayers and your words of encouragement.” These are some examples of encouraging comments I have heard from members of my family and fellow members of Hope PRC where I have been a life-long member. Comments such as these have meant so much to me as a special needs member of Hope church. God has used them to show forth His praise in my unique place in the body of Christ.

Brothers and sisters in Christ, remember all God’s children have a special place in Christ’s body. All special needs members, our families, and our caregivers need your encouragement and prayers. Please pray for the special needs members, their families, and caregivers privately, in your family devotions and in your congregational prayers. “And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me” (Matt. 25:40).