Seeking a Wife

A young man seeks a young woman that they may cleave to each other as one flesh. Over and over this is repeated, among all nations and tribes, from the beginning of time until the return of Christ. This is natural, of course, for God created this desire within both the man and the woman. Not only is this natural but it is also good, for “whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.” 

This brings one before the very important question: where does one look if he is to find a wife? The Word of God is the rule for our life, including the seeking of a wife. It gives us positive direction as to what to look for and as to where to look. In addition, it warns us concerning what not to look for and where not to look. God gives His church good instruction in this area by revealing to us the history of the world just prior to the flood. Bible history is not simply the record of facts but the record of God’s unfolding plan as He realizes His covenant with His people in Jesus Christ. Bible history then serves unto our instruction that we may know what the will of God is for us. 

The history immediately before the flood to which I draw your attention is that which is found in the first part of Genesis 6. This is the account of the sons of God who saw that the daughters of men were fair and took them wives of all which they chose. This means that the sons of the church, of the seed of the woman, of the line of the covenant in the generations of Seth, looked upon and took upon themselves the daughters of the world, of the seed of the serpent, of the reprobate children in the generations of Cain. This was not pleasing unto the Lord. It was one of the reasons why wickedness in the earth was so great. 

What lesson do we see here and what can we learn? We see that it is not the will of God that we amalgamate with the wicked who know not the Lord. Our calling is always to be separate for we must be holy even as the Lord our God is holy. We must live in the world but spiritually be not of the world. 

This is especially true in the sphere of marriage which is, after all, the goal of the young man as he seeks a young woman. Marriage stands at the very core of life. If two people are to be united so closely that they are considered before God as one, then it is essential that all aspects of their life be one. There must be unity of faith and unity of purpose as they together confess the one and the same Lord. Two people now share their life, their nature, and their love. 

Now if there is not unity of faith and if the same Lord is not confessed, then there is an unequal yoke against which the Lord warns. All too often that is what is happening today. Young men and young women do not seek a life’s partner from the household of faith but go to the synagogue of Satan. This is to our shame, and if this trend continues unchecked then it will lead to the downfall of the church in which God has given us a name and a place, for He will cut us off in our generations. 

Today it is very easy for the young man to be attracted by the woman who stands outside of the line of the covenant. As in the days of Noah so also today the woman stands in the forefront. She is held up before all men so that all may look upon her with the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life. She is the sex symbol that stimulates one to buy all kinds of products from cosmetics to liquor to cars. You name it; sex sells it. The women’s liberation movement has placed woman on a pedestal so that she no longer knows her rightful place. 

Young men, you are being tempted. Your flesh cries out for this woman because she is pleasing to your flesh. She represents all the so-called good things in life. But remember the lesson in Genesis 6. The woman in the forefront went hand in hand with all the pleasures and treasures of the world. The devil, Satan, knows how to operate. The inventions of Jabal, Jubal, and Tubal-Cain were used in the service of sin. By their outward greatness and glitter the sons of God were attracted so that they turned their eyes away from the city that hath foundations. The outward form, beauty, and sensuousness of all the inventions that made life so pleasant corresponded to the sensuous beauty and outward form of the woman as represented in Adah and Zillah, wives of Lamech, and in Naamah, Lamech’s daughter. 

This is the tool of Satan today also. To get at the very core of a man’s life he uses that which is nearest to his heart, the woman. This is very subtle. But be not deceived, for the love that Satan proposes is not true love. True love is the bond of perfectness. You are familiar with the instructions that accompany various kinds of glue. Both surfaces must be clean in order for them to adhere to each other. The two surfaces must be compatible to each other. A man and woman must also be compatible. However, the basis for this compatibility certainly is more than outward beauty. The beauty and the compatibility must be spiritual in addition to the physical and psychical compatibility. In other words, the love of a man for a woman and vice versa must be a holy love as wrought in the heart by the Spirit of Christ. Then there can be a true bond that shall not come apart at the first sign of stress. 

To find such a wife one does not seek among the daughters of men. Many have been the excuses, all covered with the sugar of false piety. How often have you not heard one justify dating among the daughters of men because in this way one can be gained unto Christ? Or one hears the argument that we must witness. And in order to witness effectively we must join ourselves to the world in marriage. 

Dear Christian, covenant youth, by joining yourselves with the world you do not gain the world for Christ, but you in turn are swallowed up. That is the lesson gained here in this account of the amalgamation of the sons of God and the daughters of men. You see, we do not convert anyone. God only can do that. When we ally ourselves with the world we put on an unequal yoke. That does not make the team plow better, but makes it impossible. The world does not become better by our joining it; rather it makes us more corrupt. 

We may talk all we want about witnessing by joining the world, but if we are honest with ourselves, then we must admit that it is not our desire to witness but our lust of the flesh that attracts us to the daughters of men. The Lord warns us through this history that we are playing with fire when we fan our flaming passions with the fannies of the daughters of men. The danger is not in that those in the world come to the church to seek out God-fearing youth who in turn are led into the world. No, the sons of God go forth seeking the daughters of men. The danger begins within our own hearts as we look about us with lust in our eyes. The world does not come seeking the church, but we seek the world. 

The will of God for His covenant youth is that they seek within the sphere of the church. As God’s children you must set your sights on Christian virtues. This must be the beginning point. One does not first look for that which pleases the flesh, with the false idea that love and marriage will change all the bad into good. If you think that that will happen, then you are sadly mistaken. When the wedding is over you must not be surprised if your spouse will not come to church with you. Then, for the sake of outward peace you either go with your husband or wife to his or her church or compromise by going to an entirely different church. In each case, the truth and your spiritual life suffer.

But perhaps your spouse does come to church with you. Often this is only outward unity when that which is most important, the unity of faith, is still missing. Your marriage suffers, your children suffer, and the marriage is headed for divorce. You reply that this will never happen to you for you are strong. If you were so strong you would not be looking among the daughters of men in the first place. To the extent that you believe you are strong you are really weak. You are then as the drunkard who because of his intoxication thinks he can conquer the world, but when he gets up to walk falls flat on his face. 

We are strong in the way of obedience. As we obey God’s commands to be separate and not to amalgamate with the world He blesses us so that we grow in strength. But if we walk contrary to His will, revealing our weakness by our disobedience, then we are not blessed either. Thus, the weak become weaker still. 

Your calling, then, young people, as you seek a helpmeet, is to live antithetically. Amalgamation blurs the line of demarcation until one does not see any difference or any distinction between the church and the world. As this happens the history of this present age becomes more and more like the days before the flood-days that are characterized by godlessness and wickedness, which, in turn, were and are being fueled by amalgamation.

Against this wickedness you must fight. You must open your eyes and watch. Do not look upon the world with lovesick eyes which are blind to reality. But in all things, especially as you seek to establish a home through marriage, seek ye first the kingdom of heaven. That is the way of blessing; that is the way of blessed peace and comfort as you live a life of sanctification before and after your wedding day. Pray unto the Lord and seek His grace as He imparts that grace through the preaching of the Word and the sacraments. Then a covenant home will be established and you shall see your children’s children gathered about you as you stand in the shadow of the cross of Calvary. The things of the world shall pass away, but that which is of God shall endure forever