We have been asked to write about our path that pertains to the caring of our girls and the responsibility that we have as parents now that they are older. For proper context to this article, it is important that we introduce our two daughters and family to you.

Amy is 40 years old; she is the oldest of our five children. Amy was diagnosed with an Autism cognitive impairment when she was five years old. She attended the Early Childhood program at Jenison Public for one year. When she was six years old, we enrolled her into the Protestant Reformed Special Education Program at Heritage Christian. She continued in the Special Ed program at Covenant Christian High School. After a successful time at Covenant, she went to Ottawa Area Center in the CBI (Community Based Instruction) program. She had the opportunity to go to different job sites to find a place where she can enhance and grow her vocational skills. In 2009 she was hired at Culvers in Jenison and is currently employed there. Amy enjoys playing basketball, pickleball, and volleyball. She also enjoys taking walks and riding her bike. During the winter months she loves going to the Covenant basketball games and spends many hours doing difficult puzzles. Amy loves to babysit her nieces and nephews, and they love her! Amy is a blessing to our family and to all those who know her!

Kara is 27 years old and the youngest of our children. Kara started her schooling when she was 18 months old at the Early Childhood Program through Ottawa Area Center. At three years old she started the PPI (Pre-Primary Impaired) program at Jenison Public School. She was very young and to put her on the bus at three years old was very hard and something we will never forget! At six years old she was enrolled into Kindergarten and the Special Education Program at Heritage Christian. She also continued with her education at Covenant Christian in Special Education. After Covenant she attended the Young Adult Services Program at Ottawa Area Center. She was put in various job settings and learned many skills in the program to help her with her independence. She excelled as an activity aid to the life enrichment program at American House in Jenison. Kara has been there over six years already and loves what she does there. She has had opportunity to work with the residents of the memory care unit but has been transferred to the residents that live in the independent living facility. She oversees and coordinates the exercise opportunities for residents, playing games and doing crafts with them. She is a blessing to those who live there, and they are a blessing to her. Kara’s main hobby is taking pictures at the Covenant Christian girls and boys basketball games. Kara has also taken pictures for families and has also done some casual pictures for weddings. She loves to take bike rides, play volleyball and pickleball.

Psalm 139:14 says, “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.” From this verse we recognize that God has given us two special needs daughters who are fearfully and wonderfully made. He has also given the church our two special needs daughters to care for and to instruct in the fear of the Lord. They are unique in their abilities, their interests, and their personalities. We have also seen that they are unique in the gifts that they can bring to those in the church who are hurting, going through the joys of their lives, and who need encouragement from day to day. We stand amazed at how God has taken the simple things of their Christian faith and used them to have a profound effect on the people that they enjoy serving as they have grown up from the young years of their life to the present place where God has placed them.

Writing an article on this topic reveals a temptation to write what we have done, what we are doing, and what our plans are as we get older as parents and then expect others to follow. This would be the wrong way to read an article like this, and we would not want anyone to take this article as a ten-step program for what you must consider when your special needs children get this age or that age. Remember, God made every one of our children unique in their own way so that they can glorify Him in the simplest of ways, which requires their own unique plan.

So now the question, What are the unique challenges and rewards that we have experienced throughout our life with our children?

First of all, the love and affection shown to them through our schools has been the highlight of their lives. They made friendships, developed safety lessons, learned their ABC’s, learned “touch math,” learned about God’s creation, learned about the church, and sang the songs of the church. Knowing that God powerfully controls everything that happens in the world and for themselves is instilled into their hearts today. God, in His providence, has made available to them a townhouse in Hudsonville where they can live on their own with much support from family and friends.

We must understand the responsibility that God’s people have to care for the people of the church that have difficulties. Using Signup Genius on the internet, rides to work are coordinated with them, and baking food for them is done with members of the church at scheduled times, activity/game nights are scheduled for them by the church, and prayers are offered on their behalf daily by those that know them. This is not only helpful to us as parents, but also such a great opportunity for Amy and Kara to experience the communion of the saints. Those are the memories and the ongoing care that is given to them each day.

Do you sense a common theme in the introductions and their current situation when it comes to the caring of our daughters? We sincerely hope so. The unique challenges are there for sure, but when we think of what those challenges have led to, we can only rejoice in our Lord Jesus Christ for the lifelong rewards that He has brought us for our girls. We have been privileged to watch the Lord’s hand leading friends and the church to fulfill all the needs that they have. The needs are very evident as we look to care for all our special children.

So fellow church members, under the leading hand of Jesus our Shepherd, pay attention to this small number of members you come in contact with and reach out to parents, hold the hands of our unique children, walk by the side of them, ask them if they need anything, pray continually with and for them, not only today but for every day of their lives as you come in contact with them. We as parents can feel and see the mercies of Christ as these things are carried out on behalf of Amy and Kara by the church. Are they unique? Absolutely! Are there rewards as we have cared for them? Absolutely! May we follow the words of Christ in Matthew 25 where He says, “For I was an hungered, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.”

And now the next question: What preparations have we been making when caregivers get older and cannot provide full-time care for their special needs children?

This may be answered in more of a practical way:

• Practice independence. We have experienced the difficulty of having them move out from under our roof and in their own house. It is hard breaking that bond after having them live with us for over 40 years. We would suggest that you prepare your special needs children for this independence when they are young. As we get older, it is hard not to worry, but we know that our God is sovereign and He will be with our girls and take care of them, even when we are not able.
• Encourage friendships with your children from family, church family, and friends. This is a good opportunity to pray for our children with special needs, pray for their parents and siblings. Text, call, stop in and visit them. They love to have friends pray with them and have devotions with them.

In closing, we thank God for being our faithful Father. There are a lot of thoughts, activities, and unique challenges that must be met each day on behalf of our special needs children. It may be hard not to look ahead and worry about the lives of our girls in the future. We have learned to take a day at a time, and to be diligent in preparing for the future. We have been assured that God, church, and family will always be with Amy and Kara, just as He has been in the past. Their hearts truly love God and for this we are so thankful!

Amy and Kara both love to sing; they feel God’s love to them through singing. They also have favorite Bible passages. Amy’s is Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” Kara’s is Psalm 143:8, “Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust; cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee.”